Getting lost...

Today was a busy day again..
I dunno how long i can be patient in the department.
Working with someone irresponsible is so painful and suffer.
Especially is the person tat pretend they know everything but give you all the bullshit work...

Luckily gt help from other staff and trainees.
Eunice, Xavier, Carol and Sushi are did their good job
They dunno but they tried their best to help
They will ask if they dunno and gt the instruction from senior staff
When i saw them like tat, they reminded me tat last time i was like tat too
I learnt from zero until now ( Full with knowledge and profesionalism)
I learnt from stress and scolded...
Thats why i tried to help them as much as i can

Dunno why,
i tot i wont kept on think about him since that recently i m so busy
but i m wrong
his image is always appear in my mind
i want to see him..
i want to ask him why he dumped me....
I really want to buy i dun have the courage..
I m very scare the answer...
I getting lost on my track
I dunno how to do...
I can be very strong in my career but i cnt do so in my personal life

Commitment and promises i made is made me seem like a fool...
I scare to have another relationship anymore because i afraid will end up like this...
So i keep the bottom line with all my colleagues and guests...
I tried not to be so close with anyone of them
But still gt some are want to take advantage from me....
Hate it lar...
T_T

Thanks...

Today i received a very good comment from my guest
I only did my job ...
Thanks for the compliment...

Another thing is he check out today
Haha
He is a regular guest in the hotel...
I m the person check in him and also check out him too...
He tot i change shift because of him
Actually is my supervisor ald arrange my rooster,
Just i din tell him...
Haha
He is a very good guy...
But not suitable me
because of his age...

I miss him..
Long time din see him ald..
Dunno wat is he doing now...
Did he still ok....
I really wn to know...
Bt i dunno how to ask him...
I really wn to concern him...
Bt i afraid that he will hate me
so i just pretend nothing
indeed, i miss him and love him so much

I guess he dunno tat i will write blog at here
i m wish he will know and read what i m think..
I using my work to make myself more busy and not think about him
but when i m alone, he is the only thing in my mind...

Meteor rain

According to newspaper and Facebook,
tonight gt meteor rain
hurm....
i dunno should i believe or not.
but i wishes it is really have
because i wn to make wishes..
First one is hope his business can get better and stabalize
second is hope my career and study can be better and improve
third is hope everyone of my family and friends can stay healthy and happy

Miss u ....
After back to EQ,
still is surround by a lot of ppl...
i dunno how ald lar.....

Nice Day

Today is my lucky day...
Start working ald 3 days...
Feel like so tired..
Everyday been boomed by a lot of check ins...
Facing different kind of guests..
From different countries...
Feel like ..... @@@@@@@
i kept on increase my EQ but sure gt ppl try to challenge it...
Haha
Dun wn go to care such useless ppl..

Today gt a lot of compliments...
from guests, colleagues....
so sweet of them...
and i m sure that i lost my weight bt become prettier...
haha
happy die me...
i keep on answer the same que in these few days...
tired... but still need to answer...

i miss him..
i ald 1 month din see him ald
feel like 1 year
my heart still cnt let him go...
because it told me tat he worth me to love...
i love him and i knew it clearly
if at the end we did nt destiny to be together,
i wont blame or complaint..
because i knew maybe this is better for us...

Losing.......

I dunno wat i m doing recently
Since he broke up with me so sudden
i try to convince myself tat tis is just a joke
until now
i cant sleep well everyday
i dun wn to dream about him or about us
i will scare
i dun wn my happiness lost from my side in a minute
this is too suffer
i scare to sleep now..
haha

At exam time, i din really used much of time to do revision
bt the facts and formula can ran into my mind easily...
feel like impossible bt it is true
guess this is the compensation from the God

After 11 hours later,
i need to work...
i dunno can i control my emotion or will let my tears drop easily...
i feel so scare
they are my colleagues
we work together more than a year
but now i dunno how to face them
why suddenly it become like this??
i can feel tat my confidence is losing from time to time...

i feel like i m changing....
i m very scare.....
i dun wn to be like tat....
Why Why Why....

After the incident,
few guys approach me...
i felt shock...
thn some friends try to introduce their friend to me.
=.=
but all of this make me feel scare
i dun wn my happiness suddenly ran....
i dun wn it happen again...
my heart fall very deep until i cnt see it
Did anyone see my heart?
Can u help me find it?

To my dear...

Dear,

2 weeks din see u ald. How are you now? I miss u so much.
Finally i knew why u want to break up. I din blame you but i felt that why u so stupid? Why u din tell me ur business gt problem? I really wishes i can accompany u all the times to give u courage. We will try to find the better solution to help u solve ur problem. I hope i can help u. Wishes u can faster build up ur career as soon as possible because i knew that is important for you. I will wait you. If we destiny to be together, we can make it no matter how long. I love you, dear.

1 week...

Now ald one week after the incident
Every of my friends sent me their warmest part and their advice
i knew
since that he said so
i should just let it be
I did tried but i cant
i need the time to clear up my mind and my heart

They said they never saw i am been hurt so terrible
No one ever see i dropped my tears in front of them until this happend
It really out of my expectation

I lost my rational and my control
even now i knew i m under exam period,
but i really no mood to study
Everynite i cant sleep well...
Always awake because i want to far sawy from the nightmare
i dunno how long will it lasting
but i knew i m not regret to love him

Sometime i will questioned myself: Is tat my problem? My fault?
I really dunno and dun understand.
For me,
we ever think that we will marry one day so i never control my heart to fall for him
but now, i m still thinking how to get back my heart

I really tired...
So i stopped crying
pretend very well in front of everyone
But i knew i am not
Now,
i m phobia in love ald...
Haiz