Today is the 16th day after he left. I miss him so much. Everyday we talked in phone or chat in fb is seems nt enuff because my heart is always at his side Sometimes i feel so insecure because he is apart from me. But my trust to him is still strong and i cnt find any reason nt to trust him Wishes he will keep his promise n come back to me soon and dun break my trust.

Today he leaving here and back to his origin

I really dun wn him to leave me..

He really good. 

Cried day before n before he went to airport

He din allowed me go to airport with him.

He said he dun wn to see the sadness part...

I love u, babe.

I will keep the promise and wait u come back. 

New Year 2012

This is the first post i wrote in 2012..
Since my grandfather passed away last month,
i din even want to wrote..
so fast.
new year came, chinese new year here
and i
getting mature than wat i think
is tat because i worked for long time ald
or just because recently kept on happen a lot of things in my family and i
All of this influence me a lot
i really tired to handle everything
especialy is love

I tot i ald forgot everything with wei teng
but the memories like a knife
it stepped in my heart all the times
looked like i cant forget all of the things
my life still like tat
busy and busy
until i kept on lost my weight...
Gosh..
i will crazy if i lose my weight again..

Vampire life

Recently i become a vampire ald..
i m so active in nite time but not day time...
so sad
i need to be more active because i need to work

today gt something funny happen to me n my guests
haiz...
really made me feel speechless...

my phone gt problem today n i reset everything
i forgot that it will erase all my sms too
and at that moment, conversation btw he n me was gone
i really wn to scream out or cry but i cnt because i m working tat time
i m so regret to do so
everything about he and i is inside the msg
now everything became zero
i dunno how to do...

Start today is the busy day again until next week
i m miss him so much and wishes he is by my side all the times
maybe his life will be more complete without me
that is the reason i let him go
because he is the person that i love most
so i let myself get out from his life
but how can i let him get away from my soul?
this is a very good question tat i asked myself ten thousand times per day...

Something is wrong

Something wrong with me recently
i tot tat i wont be so emotional again
bt i m wrong
dunno wat reason
the feelng is back
It pushes me to the corner of my heart
feel like i will eat by the feeling

Because of that,
i ate less
talked less
and easily to cry
i m too sensitive...
T_T
even my parents noticed that
they din say anything bt i can see through their expression...
I m so sorry about tat

Why some guy can said "I love u" so easily?
even tat he never see me bt he said so to me and hope i can accept him
OMG
no way..
feel like play2

Today is Winter Solstice
After eat the tangyuan,
everyone will reunion with their family and friends.
wishes all my friends will enjoy the day...

Exhausted

Today is nt busy but a lot of thing happen...
All the complaint and problems...
Need to cover the trainees and new staff when they made the mistake..
So bad luck...

At the nite,
we went to BBQ at beach side...
happy but tired
someone tried to take advantage from me
kiss my cheek, hold my hand and my waist
i tried to escape them...
bt they tried to near to me..
haiz
so many "ham zhu shao"
@@

that why when they asked me go clubbing,
i reject them...
i knew wat is their motive
so, bye bye...

once i stepped in the hotel line when i m 20 yrs old,
i knew wat is the rule to survive...
i dun wnt to use my body to exchange other because i knew tat is nt worth
i try my best to keep the line with everyone bt they came to me too
haiz...
hard to survive in hotel line
i should quit

....

I back EQ ald more than a week...
In front of everyone,
i pretend that i m still like last time
a gurl that withour any problem and very happy
but no one is know that
i m just pretend
when they asked me about my bf
i just smile and said we ald broke up
feel like i m talking other ppl thing
but only i knew that,
everytime they asked, like put the salt on my pain
pain + pain
and i choose to accept that and use smile to pretend nothing

obviously that i m lost my weight again
a lot of staff told me tat
i knew but i cnt control tat
i did ate a lot just dunno cant gain my weight
so my face cant be round ald lar....
sad....

after him, a lot of guy approached to me
i try to accept them but i found that something is missing
i dunno wat is tat...
feel like very weird
some of my colleagues tot tat i gt a lot of bf and i m flirting all over
but they dunno tat one just the cover page
indeed, no guy can touch me now...
and flirting is just let others tot tat i m happy, i m laughing
Laugh is the best way to hide the tears..

After i lost control and cried in front of my buddies,
no one saw i m cried
i pretend nothing and shopping with them
i spend lot of money to convince myself that i m fine
but i knew that i m not...
i m still is the gurl which emotional and impatient

sometimes i m just do my jobs but still gt ppl said i m just pretend
or some of them will said i m playing the tricks
i m using my capability to do my job but will gt jealous from other person
if they cant do tat, please just shut up
i m tried to keep distance with all my ex in hotel but still gt ppl will come and said something...

Last year New Year, i celebrated with him in Blue Moon
this year, he ald gt another gurl to accompany him
i m nt jealous or mad
he and me are not start any relationship but just close with each other
without any commitment and promise
even until now,
i dunno wat to talk with him,
so both of us just pretend nothing happen and kept a distance

I knew that i should let him go
i m doing it and never think to stop tat
is God destiny us to met, be together and separate
This is called 'Faith"
Once i truly love the person,
i really cnt let myself go so easily
everyone can say so easily
i told everyone tat i will forget him and forget everything btw us
but it is really take time
the memory is like melody...
will surround ur mind all the times