....

I back EQ ald more than a week...
In front of everyone,
i pretend that i m still like last time
a gurl that withour any problem and very happy
but no one is know that
i m just pretend
when they asked me about my bf
i just smile and said we ald broke up
feel like i m talking other ppl thing
but only i knew that,
everytime they asked, like put the salt on my pain
pain + pain
and i choose to accept that and use smile to pretend nothing

obviously that i m lost my weight again
a lot of staff told me tat
i knew but i cnt control tat
i did ate a lot just dunno cant gain my weight
so my face cant be round ald lar....
sad....

after him, a lot of guy approached to me
i try to accept them but i found that something is missing
i dunno wat is tat...
feel like very weird
some of my colleagues tot tat i gt a lot of bf and i m flirting all over
but they dunno tat one just the cover page
indeed, no guy can touch me now...
and flirting is just let others tot tat i m happy, i m laughing
Laugh is the best way to hide the tears..

After i lost control and cried in front of my buddies,
no one saw i m cried
i pretend nothing and shopping with them
i spend lot of money to convince myself that i m fine
but i knew that i m not...
i m still is the gurl which emotional and impatient

sometimes i m just do my jobs but still gt ppl said i m just pretend
or some of them will said i m playing the tricks
i m using my capability to do my job but will gt jealous from other person
if they cant do tat, please just shut up
i m tried to keep distance with all my ex in hotel but still gt ppl will come and said something...

Last year New Year, i celebrated with him in Blue Moon
this year, he ald gt another gurl to accompany him
i m nt jealous or mad
he and me are not start any relationship but just close with each other
without any commitment and promise
even until now,
i dunno wat to talk with him,
so both of us just pretend nothing happen and kept a distance

I knew that i should let him go
i m doing it and never think to stop tat
is God destiny us to met, be together and separate
This is called 'Faith"
Once i truly love the person,
i really cnt let myself go so easily
everyone can say so easily
i told everyone tat i will forget him and forget everything btw us
but it is really take time
the memory is like melody...
will surround ur mind all the times